Tuesday, July 26, 2011

They say a PICTURE is worth 1000 words!

Check out my new blog header UP TOP...isn't that so cool? (I knew if I kept looking I could find this photo and PROVE TO THE WORLD that my kids really DID steal my brain - MUHAHA!) You should've seen Baylie's face when she saw it, she was so puzzled..."Mommy, is that really what your brain looks like?" Followed by, "Why is Jake stealing it?" SO FUNNY!

But seriously, I wanted to jazz up the look of my blog so I reached out to my newly discovered cousin-in-law (it's a LONG STORY, I'll explain later) Melanie Johnson, who in my opinion, is a creative genius, see for yourself on FACEBOOK ("Like" her page and "Share" with your friends!)

Melanie creates all sorts of incredible digital works of art and since we are now officially FAMILY she did this as a gift for me - LOVE HER! In her spare time, Melanie is also raising 3 incredible boys (4 if you count her husband) and she enjoys photography, editing, proofreading, copy editing and helping people get their own books self-published! (Another overachiever if you ask me :)

Oh yeah, gotta make sure I give credit where credit is due - if you like the "ACTION HERO" look of the new header check out this website HAPPY TO CREATE. The creator is Melanie's FB friend and she has all sorts of super fun digital scrapbooking graphics on there!

Monday, July 25, 2011

I'M BACK & I've found the new "BLACK!"...

ATTENTION MOMS!!!! (especially you overachievers who make the rest of us look bad) STOP wasting your money on those fancy birthday cakes! (ok, I admit it, I'm just as guilty as the next mom, but I'm on my soapbox right now or maybe my cakebox, so let me be!)

When it comes to fancy cakes...FORGET PRINCESS TOWERS - FORGET SPARKLERS SHAPED LIKE NUMBERS...We apparently have it all wrong...

It's all about the SPRINKLES baby!

Please allow me to present Exhibit A: Baylie's cake creation (it gives me anxiety just looking at it, but hey, she LOVES it, thinks it looks PERFECT, so who am I to judge?)
Can you read what I wrote under the Sprinkles? YEAH, I DIDN'T THINK SO!
I'll tell you who I am to judge, I'm the one who simply wanted our first ever "We love our Boys" day to to be JUST PERFECT! (I know, I'm a loon, but don't judge me, you know you do some crazy/fun/lunatic things with the family to keep life interesting every now and then and if you don't, you should :)

SOOOO...I had the moment all worked out in my (crazy) head. I was making a mack-daddy home-cooked meal for the boys to celebrate the aforementioned first-ever "We love our Boys" day (in case you're wondering who the BOYS are, I'm referring to Jake & Daddy.) My assistant chef Baylie and I were going to top it off with a cake...ON A MONDAY...I mean c'mon, who comes up with this stuff?! So, I wrote "We (heart) Boys!" on the cake and Baylie was supposed to jazz it up with "SOME" sprinkles, NOT the whole FREAKIN' jar!

I know it's completely wrong of me, but when I turned around and saw what she did to our (MY) cake I had one of those Ally McBeal moments, if you weren't around in the 90's you don't have a clue what I'm talking about (YouTube it!), but those of you who were KNOW EXACTLY what I mean, so I won't go into detail (for so many different reasons :). 

Anyways, I took a deep breath and realized, you know what, this was her way of expressing herself, her "ART" if you will (ok, you don't have to go that deep, but in the spirit of full disclosure, I'm sharing the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to my looney tune thoughts :). So I let her live (kidding, sort of) and I embraced the sprinkles (I'm pretty sure I now have a cavity or at the very least chipped some of my "dental work" devouring my piece of cake...no matter how bad it looked, I don't discriminate when it comes to dessert sista! --- and just a side note, yes, dessert is spelled with not one, but two s's - the other is a desert and it's VERY HOT! That one drives me KOO KOO!).

So circling back around...SPRINKLES are the new BLACK! At least the younger generation's version of the new BLACK (the 4-6 year old crowd, that is).

So "WEAR IT!" as Baylie would say (although I'm not sure where exactly she learned that phrase, probably from YOUR daughter, because MY sweet daughter would NEVER come up with that on her own ;)....I'M SO SURE!


Thursday, July 21, 2011

Top Ten Reasons....

Why I love my husband...
He's obviously super silly!
10. Because he's younger than me and he still loves me! (Yes, I admit it, I'm a cougar, but a very young Cougar, possibly just a cougar cub!)
9. He recognizes when I need a "time-out" even when I might not realize it myself...and he takes it upon himself to make it possible (takes the kids to the YMCA or to the beach or to Chuck E. Cheese)
8. Sometimes when he has gas, he actually leaves the room (I mean, c'mon, it doesn't get much better than that, does it?)
7. He grills one of the tastiest steaks this side of the mason dixon line. (Sometimes that might be all he makes for dinner actually, no sides - veggies, potatoes, nothing...but hey, at least he cooks something right?! And it's AMAZING, so no complaints here!)
6. When I cook, he helps clean up (sometimes that involves simply letting all the dishes soak in the sink -  but hey, in my book that's a keeper because I'm pretty sure he learned that from me)
5. He admits that he's wrong at least 25% of the time (again, at least he admits it, we all know the truth!)
4. HE LOVES DISNEY WORLD - 'NUFF SAID!
3. He is one of the most motivated, enthusiastic, giving people I've ever met.
2. He's an incredible (super sexy) father who is completely dedicated to his children and an excellent role model.
See, told you he takes kids to Chuck E. Cheese
And the #1 reason I love my husband....because he's watching the kids all weekend while I head off for a much-needed GIRLS WEEKEND with my GIRLIES :) Can I get a woot woot?? 

Love you baby...See you Sunday xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo and I swear I didn't post this to butter you up ;P



Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Shopping with Kids...Is it just me?

I think NOT! I can't be alone in this...I sometimes dread going to the grocery store. The mall isn't so bad, because at least you can buy a new pair of shoes and an outfit or 2 and maybe even a purse to drown your sorrows. But the grocery store...with kids...it's next to impossible ok, not impossible like actually working out 5 times a week, but you know what I mean. And for me, it's not that the kids are bad like those kids who scream at the top of their lungs for no apparent reason...oh, i've been there, but now that I'm out of that "phase" it's really annoying, but they just don't STOP TALKING! And don't tell me to play some game with them where they point out every food item that starts with an "A"...seriously?!? WHO COMES UP WITH THIS SH*T? Wow, do I sound bitter or what?

Back to the point, and I promise although I get easily distracted, especially when I've had a glass (wink) of wine with dinner this will be short and to the point. My kids don't stop talking, from the moment we hit the pavement in the parking lot - Kid 1: "Can I have a cookie?" Kid 2: "Yeah Mom, can we get a cookie?" (Keep in mind we've discussed getting this cookie incessantly during the entire ride to the store and they get a cookie every freakin' time we go to the store, so why they think this is suddenly going to change is BEYOND me, but I play along, in my sweet mom voice until I can't take it any longer!)

So here's what's I say (G-rated version) as we step into the store, "Of course, we are going to get a cookie (and I continue, under my breath now) "...but if you say 'cookie' one more time....(fill in the blank)" Again...cue sweet mom voice as cart pulls up skids into to the bakery section, "So, what kind of cookie would you like sweeeeeeettttiiieee?" (Cue slightly disoriented child now with mild whiplash) Kid 1: "Uh, I'll have a sugar cookie" (she clearly sees that there are no sugar cookies, just sprinkle cookies - her favorite and chocolate chip - his favorite - I swear the only reason she asks for a sugar cookie is because she sees it's not available and she knows this will irritate me and the sweet baker behind the counter will fall under her spell and offer to go open a new box of sugar cookies just for her - SUCKEEERRRSSSS! )

So they both get the cookie, FINALLY! A little peace and quiet, right? WRONG! Now the sugar hits their bloodstream faster than a tweet hits twitter and let the talk-fest begin. Don't get me wrong, I love to hear my kids talk, their cute little thoughts, conversations amongst themselves, etc....But not when I'm in the grocery store...I totally lose my train of thought and it never fails that I forget the very thing only thing I went to the store for in the first place...

So here's my solution...after all, they say "Necessity is the mother of invention"...they maybe I should patent this idea and sell it, but who has the time with all this talking need to reinvent the cart - not the wheel, just the cart!

Ok, pretend I'm pushing the end of the cart...it's hard to take a picture of yourself pushing a cart, use your imagination!
PUT THE KID SEAT IN THE FRONT!!! I can't believe I just thought of this - HELLO???!!!

My sweet girl was in heaven when I started pushing the cart from the behind, so much so that she stopped....wait for it...you guessed it...talking! (Again, don't judge me, I love her little voice, just not non-stop, when I'm trying to concentrate on a list I told you I get distracted and no I'm not drinking at the store... ok, maybe every now and then when they have those little wine tastings near the wine aisle...and what's with those shot glasses anyways? this is wine people, provide the proper glass - KIDDING!!!!).

So that's my great INVENTION...and I promise moms around the world will LOVE IT! Plus, and let's be real, don't you think your kids will get more out of the shopping experience when they get to see something other than your mug in the store. I really think I'm on to something....Oh yeah, and I know, they have those "Car Carts" already, but that's like pushing a Hummer around the grocery store...Don't even get me started on that!

Oh yeah, I have another great idea for riding in the car with kids...think NYC taxis...JUST WAIT :)

Friday, July 15, 2011

BREAKING NEWS!

Ok, it's not really BREAKING NEWS, but hopefully it got your attention. I don't know about you, but now that I have kids it's hard to watch the news. Especially lately with the whole Casey Anthony trial. I mean, how do you explain to your 4 and 6 year old that a mommy is on trial for murdering her own child - UGH! Anyways, I'm not pointing fingers, I used to produce those very shows at FOX13, you have to report what's going on, good or bad, unfortunately mostly more bad than good. Although to be fair, we did always try to balance things out with good, funny & unusual news too. (Funny, I said FAIR AND BALANCED in that sentence, that's the FOX NEWS catch-phrase/slogan/mantra...gosh, hope I'm not brain-washed?)

Seriously though, people ask me all the time if I miss the news biz, and to be honest, there are parts of it that I do miss. So I've decided to produce my own NEWSCAST with two of the most talented yes I'm biased newscasters in the business! Introducing KIDS-TV NEWS...here's the world premiere...


Hey, I think these kids have a future! Hope you'll tune in!!! 

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Check out what Daddy taught Baylie...I'm so proud (and sarcastic)

Ok, so the other night at dinner one of our friends busted out his iPhone and introduced my man to the strobe light APP...yes, they have an APP for that. So of course KB immediately downloaded it to his phone...ok, so did I, I cannot lie, it's FUN! Anyhoo, picture this, a table full of adults at a nice restaurant which I won't name CAFE PONTE - LOVE IT! and KB whips out the STROBE LIGHT APP & starts making this sound, it's hard to explain, but it sounded like that beat you hear in a nightclub, late night, that you can't get out of your head the next morning...unst, unst, unst, unst...hopefully you get the picture. So this has turned into his latest shtick and I'm proud NOT to say like father, like daughter...check it out:



Notice she's using a light-up tiara she convinced begged and pleaded me to buy her at Cracker Barrel. Hey, she might be a toddler with a tiara, but at least it's not an iPhone! (I'm not getting her one of those until she's at least 4 1/2...KIDDING!!!!)

Anyways, I just had to share, it's so funny what kids pick up from their parents. I guess it was inevitable since KB has done it now, oh, I don't know, I'm not keeping count oh you better believe I am like 100 feels like a million times! 


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

My Favorite Things...(I'm no OPRAH, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night - NOT!)

Fun Gift Basket! 
So...I don't know about you, but when it comes to gift-giving I always find myself running around at the last-minute like a chicken with my head cut-off (this was one of my mom's favorite sayings & she actually saw a real chicken running around like this, yuck!) looking for the perfect gift. It's so frustrating and you would think I would learn i'll never learn after all these years not to put myself under this kind of pressure. I seriously sometimes break out in a sweat in the store because I can't find just the right thing. Luckily, I met a super cool chick a few years back, I won't name names Laura Maiocco who introduced me to her "gift closet." What's a gift closet you ask? (Trust me, I didn't know either.) 

GIFT CLOSET: A magical place where you will always find the perfect gift just when you need it even if you waited until 10 minutes before the party to start looking!

Whoa, what a concept...no running around, no sweating, no stressing out! And the best part, this amazing closet also comes stocked with all the perfect gift wrapping necessities - LOVE IT! So, of course, I adopted stole her idea. They say (whoever "they" is) that (insert word here, b/c I can't for the life of me think of what it is, see I told you my kids stole my brain) is the best form of flattery, or something like that. So long story short, now when I'm out shopping and my kids are on their best behavior both have their headphones on watching their favorite show on their iPads crammed into a shopping cart, I scour the stores looking for fun, creative and unique gifts. And I'm proud to say I have now collected enough fun "gifts" to start my own gift closet ok, it's actually only one shelf in the cabinet next to my desk, but hey, this is an accomplishment for me! So today, I present to you, one of my favorite things cue the Oprah theme music, confetti, screaming audience members who should really be in straight jackets from my gift closet cabinet...shelf, WHATEVER! ....TA-DA....
How Cool! I even included a personal message!
STEMLESS WINE GLASSES
YOU CAN WRITE ON...WITH CHALK! WOOOO HOOO! I love these glasses, they are beautiful and  cheap (only $3/each at Pier 1, chalk is included - SAY WHAT?!), plus, who doesn't LOVE wine? FUN! Plus, add a nice, decently priced cheap bottle of vino and voila, WHAT A THOUGHTFUL HOSTESS GIFT. And who knows, maybe the recipient will even be nice enough have enough class to pop the bottle right there and share the gift. It's perfect...the gift that keeps on giving! And that's why this is one of my FAVORITE THINGS

By the way, this particular basket is going to one of my oldest  she really is older than me...by one month and one day and dearest friends Jen who is moving into her new home as we speak and as I write this blog, when I should really be helping her move. Whoops! Hopefully she'll forgive me or at the very least we'll have a good laugh about it over a nice glass of vino provided by yours truly. CHEERS!!!

Any fun & super easy gift ideas you'd like to share? C'mon, you know you want to! The first one to FOLLOW this awesome blog and leave a comment below will win something out of my incredible gift closet shelf...storage bin. I'll even pay for the postage & shipping or hang it in a plastic grocery bag from my front door and you can swing by and pick it up at your earliest convenience. GO!


Saturday, July 9, 2011

Do your kids do this?

Introducing the THUMB PICTURE BOMB!
So Jake has invented an all-new version of the picture bomb - he couldn't get his whole body in the picture, so he figured a THUMB would do the trick. So introducing, for the first-time ever on a blog, the world's first THUMB PICTURE BOMB. He completely cracks me up! If you're wondering, that's a cheese cracker in this hand, it never did make it into his mouth, mostly just scattered around the boat when I swatted his hand out of the way it broke apart in his hand. 

I would love to see some of your funny KID pics - please share and make sure to SUBSCRIBE to my blog!

Thursday, July 7, 2011

What kids really want for breakfast!

Well-meaning, albeit POINTLESS, MOM ADVICE

So I was perusing Facebook last night after I sweetly tucked my wonderful crazy children into bed at 8pm after watching the "Goodnight Show" on Sprout 10:30pm after 3 back-to-back episodes of "Phineas & Ferb" and came across a post from one of my friends, a new-er mom of a sweet, beautiful little boy. She was venting about her son not wanting to go to sleep. 

Here’s her FB post: 
Jane Smith (names have been changed) “wants to know why kids will fight sleep until the death!?!?!? Lol It is ridiculous!” 

We’ve all been there for sure, some more than others! My son didn’t sleep a solid 4 hours until he was about 13 months old and when he finally did sleep longer I thought...well, you know what I thought...let’s just say I checked his breathing too many times to count and because of that still didn't get a good night's sleep when I finally had a chance, can you say neuortic?

Of course, all of us fellow moms chimed in with our own thoughts, helpful advice, etc...the last response is one that always gets me, and before I share, I must come clean and say I’m guilty of doing this myself, so I am by no means pointing fingers maybe a little. It just seemed like something interesting to blog about and see if you agree with me.

The FB response:
“Hang in there, someday when he’s a teen, he won’t wake up until 2:00pm!” 


Seriously?! Is this supposed to make her feel better? Make her less tired? Be her "AH-HA moment" like on Oprah? "Oh, ok, if he's going to sleep in when he's a teenager, then that makes everything better. Good thing I posted this on Facebook. Thanks for the advice!" 

Like I mentioned, I’ve made similar comments to other moms, somehow thinking this is going to give them comfort in their current situation, but DOES IT? How does knowing that when your son is a teenager he’s going to sleep in until 2pm make staying up with him now until 2am any easier? Simple answer, it doesn’t...so why do we say these things to one another?

SO MY QUESTION TO YOU: What’s the most ridiculous comment or advice you’ve gotten from your mom, your friend, a fellow mom, maybe even a complete stranger... when you were venting about your baby not sleeping, or your struggles with potty training or ((fill in the blank))??? 

Please forward this along to other moms, if nothing else, the responses are sure to give us all a few laughs as we are trying to convince our little ones to go to bed even though the sun is still up in the summertime... 
CURSE YOU SUNSHINE!